How do you celebrate life
And mourn death at the same time?
How do you rejoice for a new day
When a loved one goes away?
How do you tell an infant
That he no longer has a mother?
How do you keep loving
When your heart feels so empty?
How do you answer these endless questions
When your mind is stuck in confusion?
‘Your baby is premature’
That’s what the doctor said.
What ignites this hell and torture
Or has pain no perfect end?
Shall new pastures never flourish long
Or must man’s sworn enemy ever win?
Conception was as beautiful as dawn
Carrying with it glitters of affection
Dropping on every heart a flicker
Of something far greater than morn
The drive through the park
The music played to the unborn
The soft cuddles and caresses
Of the little one with the feeble heart.
The late night walks and dances
And the promise of a new life
Different from the old and usual
Draped with longings and wishes
The reckless love for luxuries
And the emblem of midnight praise.
Is this how days stop halfway?
Is this how green glories sail astray?
Do houses have to fall and crumble?
Must fires always raze down new fields?
The doctor didn’t see his words spark
He never saw the wild flames flash
Tearing into your sickening soul
As he heralded the news of your loss.
Maybe this blessing is a curse
Maybe being alive is death
Maybe glories are only defeats
Maybe laughter is purely pain.
It’s been a long ride waking up
Picking plates and cracked cups
Dialling numbers and placing calls
Shuffling papers and writing letters
Sitting by the phone and staring at the door
Imagining outcomes and staying hopeful.
Maybe hoping is only being helpless
Maybe morning is only a melting wax
Maybe this dream is only a peaceful nightmare
Maybe I’m just an inventor of maybes.